Beck Wattier

Weaknesses That Aren’t So Weak. Rambling.


Sometimes there are certain aspects of myself which I always see as weaknesses. We all have weaknesses, no big deal right? Right. But then I come to the realization that some of these ‘weaknesses’ are actually strengths, they are just so rarely found these days that they seem odd and out of place. I hate feeling like I’m crazy because the things I KNOW I am hearing are things that no one else seems to hear.

A lot of times I feel out of place. There are some things that I feel so strongly and so passionately about and it seems that I am serisouly crazy because no one else gives it a second thought. I’m different. And while there are always things that I will do wrong, and I always should be open to change, there are some core things that make me different that are not in fact weaknesses, but very real, very solid strengths. Strengths so strong that they could really shake things up.

I don’t know what to do with these things because, well, I can’t talk about them. People don’t want to listen, and the ones that do tend to just not get it. Which is fine. Like I said. I’m different.

I get tired of battling myself. My own thougts. War within my mind. It drains me a lot. It seems like there has been a lot of this lately. A constant war on my thoughts. I’ve been thinking a lot on the Word when it mentions ‘taking every thought captive’. Some days here lately have literally been a minute by minute battle of the mind. And I don’t mind that really, I just want to know I’m on the right path.

How do you make sure your thoughts are correct, when no one understands your passionate thinking?

Sometimes I wish I could stop seeing these strengths as weaknesses and just tune the world out and embrace them. I wish one person could sit down and not just listen but actually get what I’m saying. Sometimes I wish I could throw my entire self into living these strengths and ideas out regardless of if I have to do it alone or not. And I know I’m not alone. I’m learning more and more to lean on the One who is there when everyone else has decided their done with you.

I hate the recurring thought that I’m not that strong. That it’s hard. That it hurts.

These things are all true. But they’ve never stopped me before.

Deep breath.

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